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by Kurt Inagaki
I was born and raised in Denver, Colorado. A few years ago I was skiing solo and happened to catch a ride up the mountain with another “single” skier, an older woman from Australia. In our charming but brief conversation she offered an odd observation. It seems she really expected to see horses and cowboys along our Denver Streets.
 Perhaps during the annual Stock Show and Rodeo in January you might encounter some actual cowboys and there are some horse drawn carriages on the 16th Street Mall in Downtown Denver, however, most other times in the year this is not the Wild West.
And in many ways when it comes to pursuing a woman in Ukraine for relationship, Ukraine is not the “Wild East”, it once was either. Men have become weary of the outposts along the way, those little and not so little marriage agencies in each city.
The inconvenient truth is that these outposts have more vested in your failure than in your success. Your failure to meet and secure a relationship helps insure their future business. Additionally, your failure also allows the woman or women you were courting to become available for more would-be suiters. Which isn’t questioning the sincerity of the woman at all, it’s entirely possible and increasingly probable that they are more victim than accomplice. There is a large segment of the population of available women who, even though they might be interested in relationship with a foreign man, when asked if they would ever consider joining a marriage agency would reply, “I’m not that kind of woman”. In trying economic times, the avarice for your dollar only exacerbates the situation.
Men in this process are losing faith in agencies, and as their distrust manifests itself in the process as a decreased number of trips taken, less services contracted, and oddly, more letters written. Age-old stereotypes are also re-enforced, like “Men only write, few ever visit”.
This actually plays right into the hands and bank accounts of the agencies who are all too happy to have men writing more letters. The cycle is vicious indeed, and includes more letters, but less visits. Sincere women getting discouraged and even quitting agencies, which then leaves the professional daters and scammers and less “genuine” women for those braves souls that do make the trip to Ukraine.
It’s not surprising that an increasing number of men in this process are looking for alternatives and they should be. Right now the international marriage industry seemingly offers more impediments to your success than help.
Recently I saw an advertisement of an agency in a major Ukrainian city offering to place newspaper advertisements for men seeking women and I remembered a time about 10 years ago when I had placed a personal ad and it occurred to me this is a possible solution with some changes. And I decided to write an article sharing some of my experience as well as introducing a new service at Discover Ukraine.
 First, will it work? Yes, it is a way to reach many of those women who would never associate with an agency. 10 years ago for about $300 I had an ad placed in a number of Ukrainian papers and it ran for 2 mos. After 3 weeks I was receiving my first responses via the postal mail. For a time, 1-3 letters daily, some with photos, most were hand written, some in English, others only in Russian, it ran the gamut. For 6 mos the letters came steadily and for over a year they continued. In all, over 300 different letters. Point being there was potential there. I am compelled to admit that 10 years ago I was a waste of their time and considerable effort. But that does not change the fact that a personal ad will work. So how should it be structured?
First, I read where the agency will place your personal ad, but that all of the contacts are sent through the agency, which in essence means that your ad pays to help them market to more women and helps them attract more women to the agency. Again, a case where the agency is pursuing a dual agenda and their agenda is not beneficial to you. And if you are fortunate in your ad and receive a response from an interested woman who also happens to belong to that group of women who would never become an “agency woman”, and if correspondence is setup via the agency, she won’t like it at all and that interference is enough to convince her of your character and decision making abilities since it was you who chose them. Either way, it’s over, even before it had a chance to begin.
A better solution is to direct all of the responses to your personal postal mail, could even be a P.O. Box. Doing this will accomplish a few things (maybe not completely, but it will help). First, with only postal address to reply to, scammers and professional daters are less likely to reply, it’s just not easy and takes some effort and time, so you will, on balance be getting, much more “qualified leads”. Also you will receive some agency replies and they are easy to spot via the post since many of the letters will have the same or surprisingly similar wording; even the same reply to address.
In that first letter you will also probably be able to assess English proficiency, education level, communication style and proclivity, and any number of other things that will offer you clues on how best to proceed.
 You then have the option to engage your choice of interpreter for the Russian language letters. I want to stress your translator/interpreter who works for you, not the agency, not the particular woman, you.
Would you use your wife’s attorney in your divorce? It’s a crazy analogy, I know, but find and engage someone to work on your behalf, in your best interest, directed by you, pursuing your agenda.
And I would not provide electronic or phone contact information, just the post. One thing that is possible with a contact you trust is to provide a phone number in Ukraine for “additional details”, which an interested woman can call to have your photo and additional information sent to her electronically.
Here again, you need to exercise some caution because if she thinks it is or it really is an agency she might not want them inserted into her/your communication.
So what exactly is this program Discover Ukraine is offering?
To see additional details and to subscribe please use the following link:
http://www.discover-ua.info/Services-and-Costs/Ads-in-UA-Newspapers.html
Generally, we will help you construct and place your small personal ad to include some general details about you, a descriptive headline, your postal address, instructions on what they should send, e.g. “postal reply with photo please to:****” And for additional details and photos please call 0 38050 688 3195. Your ad will run for an agreed upon period of time in the agreed upon number of publications (newspapers and magazines). All correspondence will go directly to you.
 We also have a discounted monthly translation service package available or piece work pricing also. You will also gain access to other communication methods and vehicles, including our chatroom where your communication is voice, type chat and video enabled, usually at no additional cost to you or her.
Are you tired of writing to the women on the agency sites, paying $5-20 per exchange and still wondering who you are talking to? Is it really her or an agency interpreter? Frustrated because you aren’t allowed her contact information or you have to pay dearly for that information? Tired of feeling and being at the mercy of the agency of paying for every little service? Questioning the sincerity of the agency women?
I truly believe that in a 4-6 month period you will spend less and get more with this program than with what most guys are currently doing writing via agencies.
Try the post and a personal advertisement. It’s not glamorous and fast and modern, but a good letter is never out of style and the post/personal ad is just enough different to “shake” up the process and allow that breath of fresh air to enter your life and heart.
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