 article provided by Kurt Inagaki, to illustrate his discussion chat-program "Malchishnik"
Ok so neither of you can communicate in the others language effectively and yet, you’re both looking at one another, laughing at the right times at each others jokes and anecdotes, there is a softness in her face and eyes when she looks at you, things are indeed going well. So how do you make them go even better?
These won’t always work, but are worth consideration.
“Human Touch” (For you Springstein fans) Touching. Yes, I like this one too. While you are talking, touch her on her shoulder. Touch and drag your fingers a couple inches on the inside of her forearm or wrist, just linger a little more than casual and then retreat, or give the round of her shoulder a touch and a gentle caress, again retreat deliberately. You do this as you initiate conversation and if you are successful, when you speak to her she will naturally open to you. Eventually you can just hold her hand and gently squeeze it when you are making a point in conversation.
After you win that prize of her hand, give it back. Take a drink, wipe the cold sweat from your palm (just kidding). Then just offer your hand palm up and open and see if she places hers in yours. If you want to be more casual or try a different tact, just leave your hand there comfortably in your area, but still on the table and see if she reaches out to you. Whatever you do, have a little fun. A good game of “handsy” can be every bit as provocative as a game of “footsy”.
 “Switch hit”, this is a good change of pace and is good when you want to make an important point. I’ve spent the better part of two articles telling you to focus on her and not the interpreter. This is the time when you do the opposite. The first time you turn to the interpreter and say something like, “This is very important…” or “I want her to fully understand what I am about to say…” and still looking at the interpreter you tell what you want to communicate and before the interpreter starts to translate for her you turn and look into her eyes as if you are looking for the answer to your question or reaction to your statement there. Do this once more, maybe twice and take care to use the same phrase and same tone, everything the same so that after the 2nd time or 3rd time your gal will recognize something important is coming. The fourth time and every time thereafter switch back to looking at your gal and say in the exact same way, “This is very important….”
The “Language Drive-by” is a good way to be a little or a lot charming. And you can combine it with “Switch hit” or “Human Touch” or use it in typical communication. Just ask your interpreter “I want to tell her in Russian…”, (what ever it is you want to tell her), just make sure it is short or that you can memorize it in one or two tries. Lean in towards the interpreter and have them tell you in a whisper, practice once and then turn to your gal and let it fly. You probably will mispronounce it and will have to have the interpreter whisper to you again and you practice once and then turn to your gal and let it fly once more. Probably goes something like this.
You want to say “You are the most beautiful” you lean towards your interpreter and she whispers to you “Tee sa-my-yah cras-see-vye-yah” and you then turn to your gal and confidently say “Tee sa my uh Cras nye uh” and your date has this puzzled look on her face because you just told her “You are the most red” and the interpreter is giggling and so the interpreter leans in and tells you again, “cras see vye yah” and maybe even says it louder than a whisper so your gal can hear what you are trying to say and when you turn and say confidently “Ты самая красивая”, her face softens, her eyes smile and you get a heartfelt “Spacibo” from her, in between giggles of course.
And you know, this is not fair, but all is fair in love and war right? Sure, so this is not fair, but Russian is a rich, very rich language and you saying this in this way is very familiar and even inappropriate if your relationship is not that far along, but you will be forgiven for being cute and charming and trying to say something in her language so for a while you can get away with a “drive by”
It would actually be a very good idea to take a “Romantic Russian Course” to learn the right words, right context, correct pronunciation.
 Hopefully these will help you along the way and you will have many successful threesomes. Maybe the best tip though? Stop thinking what you were just thinking and concentrate on her!
If you want to write me about your suggestions for successful threesomes, feel free or better yet, join me for Malchisnik on Thursdays, 9 pm EST where we’ll explore these and other subjects, talking about what we men like to talk about most.
Join us for the final installment in this article “How to Have a Successful Threesome—Real Life in the Trenches” where DU Network Team members share their ideas and experiences and co-owner, relationship counselor and interpreter Irina Timchenko shares her insight on the qualities of good interpreters, the pros and cons of personal assistant versus agency or city-by-city interpreters and more!
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